I need to do some consumer research. Do minor consumer revolts against good sense constitute a leading indicator of good times returning, or confirm that the economy is still struggling with frustration leading people to make irrational choices?

Whatever the answer, it seems a minor groundswell is taking place in the restaurant business with new chains opening that advocate consuming lots of calories in the form of “food to die for”.  A local eatery known as Heart Stoppers Sports Grill has attracted quite a following for its “Chili Chest Pain Fries“, “Heart Stopper 3 lb. Killer” burger and “Heart Dogs“. I guess waitress’ dressed as nurses with fishnets aren’t hurting business either.

Heart Stoppers attracted more than my attention as the Fort Lauderdale Sun Sentinel reported today that the Heart Attack Grill, an Arizona chain claiming to have ownership of  “Taste Worth Dying For” and all other things related to pumping out “fat food”  is asking Heart Stoppers to cease and desist the operation of its business model.

Heart Attack Grill touts its own brand of greasy aspirations including an array of “Bypass Burgers” and “Flatliner Fries”. If you visit their website, you’ll notice that the burgers are complemented by “No filter” Lucky Strike cigarettes and Jolt Cola. I have to wonder if both of those brands are comfortable with being thrown into the “bad health” food bin, but maybe I just think too much.

I scoured both web sites for any signs of rewards programs but didn’t see even a punch card or similar offers. One thing I did see is that the Heart Attack Grill promises that if you’re over 350 lbs., you eat for free. Apparently Heart Stoppers makes the same offer, one of many alleged copycat violations in the litigation between the two companies.

In direct marketing-speak, does this translate to an aspirational loyalty program tightly focused on a target market? Or, is crossing the threshold of 350 like being crowned a Platinum cardholder with your new tier offering soft benefits (perks) that others can’t have? I’ll leave it to you to sort out that debate. Meanwhile, I’m just worried that customers aspiring to reach the magic number that qualifies them for free food may not fare well thereafter!

I know we’re all “dying” to build customer loyalty and that many consumers are “dying” to earn enough points for that big freebie, but watching those that attain the highest tier in a program drop like flies isn’t my idea of achieving an acceptable return on investment.

Enough said, I’m going to pick up some Rolaids at CVS and earn a few more ExtraCare points! I think it’s safer.

Editor’s note: Opinions expressed by the author are influenced by his 40 mile bike ride earlier in the day and are not those of the target audience of these two restaurant chains!

I was dining with my wife at Carrabba’s recently and she asked me the BIG question, though it’s probably not one that you have in mind:  “So, do a lot of businesses still do this loyalty stuff“?

I had just written a post about new execution formats that Loyalty Marketing programs were taking in the Big L and the Little L and I paused before answering her question.

That morning I had received a call at home from the Fort Lauderdale Sun Sentinel informing me of “Subscriber Rewards“. An insider’s club that offers “reader benefits and special privileges”, it was an intriguing pitch from a newspaper and I asked for more information. I haven’t received anything yet and can’t find anything concrete about the program on the paper’s website, but it seems to consist of merchant discounts offered on some exclusive basis to home delivery subscribers.

Just before dinner, we had strolled through Steinmart (did I say it was date night?) and, as I noticed the quality merchandise from well known brands offered at prices that should make mainline retailers shiver, I realized that Steinmart’s business model was its loyalty program. I have written about this before and believe that a points based program is not always mandatory to secure my return visit and longer term brand loyalty.

Steinmart punctuated its customer shopping experience with a personal note from the Chairman thanking customers for their business. Stacked by the check out station, it was a nice touch and something I had not seen at other retailers.

With these two examples in mind, I started to answer my wife’s question with an emphatic “yes” when I was interrupted by our server, cheerily asking if we wanted to join the “Amici Club“. Carrabba’s had apparently launched a customer club and had trained the server thoroughly in how to properly present it table-side and explain the benefits. I have a habit of testing the proficiency of front line staff in these areas and our server passed with flying colors.

My wife’s question had clearly been answered: Loyalty is alive and well and in favor with CMO’s who recognize the power of data-driven measurable marketing.

Indicative of today’s market is that I had seen three examples of brands in different industries launching distinct models. Here are some implications to consider:

• The Sun Sentinel might be seeking to increase renewal rates among home subscribers and to sustain advertising rates for merchants with its discount oriented scheme. Will they take a second step to query subscriber preferences and tailor the offers to make them more appealing and relevant?

• Steinmart’s merchandising and service model can create repeat visits but aren’t they leaving something on the table by allowing their customers to remain “invisible”? Sure they have a cobranded credit card, but shouldn’t there be something more fundamental in place and with a lower enrollment hurdle?

• Carrabba’s was taking the first step with highest potential in my opinion, seeking to create a platform for learning about customer desires and preferences. I’ve just received my first email from Amici and they offered me a free appetizer on a return visit in exchange for registration online. Simple, but a good start to create engagement. I wonder if they tested different incentives?

My free lesson in Loyalty at dinner reminded me that every organization can benefit from a sound Customer Strategy and that program designs will be more tightly integrated into the customer experience and shaped to meet unique industry needs. Tremendous opportunity remains in helping business leaders get the model right and design strategy that is complementary to their core brand.

I was also reminded that it pays to keep date night with your spouse on the calendar. You never know what you might learn!

The “conversation” about Social Media is in full swing. In addition to all of the online buzz, I ran across articles on how business is using Twitter in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and my local paper, the Fort Lauderdale Sun Sentinel just this week.

The article in the Sun Sentinel highlighted how professional sports franchises are using Social Media, Twitter in particular, to communicate with fans. Teams are sending scores from live events, offer special promotions, and publicize events for the team. The Miami Heat and Dolphins have each launched their Twitter accounts. “It’s a 365/24/7 kind of world we’re living in these days, and we need to allow our fans to access the Heat when, where and how they want to access us,” Heat Executive Vice President Michael McCullough was quoted as saying in the article.

He should be Tweeting

With tickets to the Heat – Celtics game in my hand last night, I “followed” @MHeat before the game and sent them a message asking what it would take to put a Happy Birthday message on the scoreboard for my daughter. During the game I sent a few more messages seeking some interaction. Total responses from the Heat during the event – Zero.

Looking at the Heat Twitter account, they had posted 234 updates as of March 12 while the Dolphins were up to 6,393. Touchdown Dolphins, Airball Heat! The point is that the hype over new technologies usually precedes the reality of adoption by business.

The Heat is missing a huge opportunity. If you’ve been to an NBA game lately, the crowd would make you believe that recession is just a myth. I am certain that one modest promo per quarter tweeted by the Heat would evoke a massive response from the connected fans in the audience. There are multiple scenarios that I could dream up to drive engagement before, during, and after games, selling additional tickets and merchandise in the process. The cost to execute a Twitter promo program would be very low. Even Burnie, the mascot, could tweet ‘em up during his breaks.

I can’t wait for the “conversation” to slow and the action to Heat up!